Hello. I had posted this earlier on the Personal Readings forum, and I was recommended to this forum for more guidance. I am wondering what folks think about this synastry - and am curious as to any explanations as to why I can't seem to let it go. The relationship was never physical and ended years ago after multiple misunderstandings. Despite an initial attraction and sense no one knew me better, it ultimately became more work than it was worth. What was once thrilling and exciting became overwhelming and draining. All the pluto perhaps...
I don't think I ever felt something so intensely before, and I resisted the entire time because I didn't see a good ending out of it. In working together, we got a lot done, and I felt that together, we were able to accomplish more than alone. However, there quickly evolved these undercurrents that were hard to ignore. It mostly felt like passion and control issues clamoring to get to the surface; yet neither were in a position to do anything about it since going down that path would have had negative repercussions professionally and personally. So it went largely undiscussed while we continued to work together. He made subtle attempts which I did not acknowledge. I loved being the center of his attention, and I loved being attractive to him, but I couldn't let it go further than that.
I miss that feeling of vibrancy. I don't know how much that was our synergy/synastry or whatever was going in my life at the time, of which he just happened to be a part. It was a watermark time in my life.
I know I need to let it go, and it's hard to let go of such a feeling - even if the rest was unrealized and the relationship ultimately ended badly... I just felt so alive at the time.
I just wish I understood why...Not why it ended, but why it happened and why him in the first place. The other thing is, as much as I think of it, still, it's odd to think he might no longer give it any thought at all. Our paths no longer cross. It's not that I'd want him back in my life, but that feeling! well that would be another thing...the positive parts of it anyway.
And I'm curious if my thoughts about it or the relationship itself could be explained astrologically or any other way - as if understanding them could help me let it go.
That would be the hope, I guess.
Thanks for any insight. Synastry and aspects attached.